Raison d’Etre

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Stop.

Please stop. 

"I'll give you anything you want, if you just stop!"

They won't stop looking at me. I can't get away from them. They're everywhere. It's so bright, everything is just a colorful blur, except for them. 

Why won't they just leave me alone?

I haven't done anything to them, at least I don't think I have. How could I have? I haven't gone outside in months.

"What did I do to you? Tell me, please, answer me!"

They won't answer. They never do. They just appeared one day. They always do. Them and all these crazy lights.

The butler won't tell me what they are either. He'd have to be blind not to see them, but he acts like I'm the crazy one.

I'm not.

I'm the same as I 've always been. It's not my fault I'm suddenly being watched. 

Not my fault that no one wants to help me.

This is all too much for me. I can't stand this anymore. Writing this is the only thing that keeps me going. I haven't slept for days, can't remember when I last ate. 

They won't go away. I can't run or hide from them. There's hundreds of room here, but nowhere is safe. 

They're everywhere.

Following me.

Watching.

Waiting.

Help me.

Someone.

Anyone. 

If you find this, I don't know what will have become of me, but help me. Or, at least, help yourself. 

Don't let them find you.

The lights are still here too. For some reason, everything smells of evergreen. I bet it's a trick.

A trap.

They're trying to lure me in with all these brightly colored boxes, the lights, the rich fragrance.

It won't work.

I'm not falling for it.

They'll be back next year anyway. 

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